


A Certain Smile

by allysonandrews1982 (FonzFan82)



Series: McCarey [1]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Friendship, Rewrite, Romance, new year's
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-03
Updated: 2013-01-21
Packaged: 2017-11-20 05:39:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 15,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/581894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FonzFan82/pseuds/allysonandrews1982
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>At the last concert of the year Jay meets a blond with a secret past. As their friendship grows, they must work together to deal with her past demons if they are to have a future. Can Jay overcome his shyness to help the one he's falling in love with?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Hour Game

Part 1

Time was very important to Roger Graves. Time was money his father had drilled into him. And if you had enough money you could indulge him your heart's desires. Roger wasn't his real name and he wasn't rich but his tendencies were simple. Lightening lit up the medium priced motel room as one of his simple desires opened the bathroom door. The boom of thunder announced the arrival of a towel wrapped Cornelia.

"I hate storms." The slim, twenty - year - old girl stated for the fifth time this evening. The rain had started as a soft shower turning quickly to a real gully - washer. Cornelia repositioned the towel confirming the fact she wore nothing underneath; she spent the past hour providing just how fathomable that knowledge was.

"When are you going to tell your wife about us? I hate sneaking around to see you for an hour at a time." The towel dropped and she pulled on a pair of black lace panties.

"Cornnie, you'll keep on sneaking as long as I'm paying for your condo and those jewels you like so much. My wife knows nothing about us and I fully intend to keep it that way. Now, get dressed and I'll drive you home." The threat in his voice was unmistakable and Cornelia did like the condo, the jewels and the spending money; like the two hundred dollars he'd given her tonight. She decided this wasn't the time to tell him about the doctor's visit and the news she was "in the family way" as her mother had called being pregnant. The temperature had dropped in the room as well as outside as she finished dressing. The wind had increased in force during their tryst, greeting them when they left the room.

Roger was normally a careful driver but tonight he was distracted by the raven - haired vixen sitting next to him in a mini dress that kept rising up her thigh. He took one hand off the steering wheel; letting it come to rest high on her inner thigh when the wind gust hit the car broadside. Roger's last thought before the car hit the tree head on was how much Cornelia hated storms. He never thought of his wife, waiting up at home for him.

Line Break

Part 2

Cassandra Fox paced back and forth on the thick carpet. Her husband often stayed in the city when the weather was bad. A streak of lighting flashed in the darkened sky and the following thunder clap made her jump.

David usually called if he was going to be working late; there had been no call. All the warning signs were there: working late (and he had worked late often lately) and the lack of attention, both physical and emotional topped the list. Not for the first time, Cassandra wondered if there was another woman involved. And what would she do if she found out it was true?

The doorbell sounded hollow, reverberating through the quiet house. Cassandra fought the urge to laugh; if she did, she wasn't sure that she would be able to stop. Tightening her robe she opened the door. A police officer stood in clear rain gear; a grim expression on his face.

"Mrs. Fox?"

"Y...yes?"

"There has been an accident..."

Cassandra became aware of two things simultaneously, that her peripheral vision was going black. She fell into growing blackness, only the quick actions of the police officer saved her from hitting the floor, and her life would never be the same.

Line Break

Part 3

Five years later, the day after Christmas...

Cassandra had recovered from the fainting spell if not the shock of David's death. The life insurance David had conveniently provided had allowed her to live comfortably. She sat on the sofa, next to her daughter, Annie; the room was warm without being hot but sweat beaded her upper lip. The moisture was not from the temperature but from what Annie had just asked. Annie was a good daughter, her mother's best interest at heart but what she asked was impossible. Subconsciously, she lifted her arm, a Kleenex wiping away the offending wetness. "Please, Mom, come with us. It'll be fun." Annie repeated, reaching out to cover her mother's hand.

"Thank you for asking but I don't think so. You two go on and have fun." She referred to Annie and John, her son - in - law. "I want to get into a new mystery paperback I picked up today."

"You can read tomorrow. This is a one time concert and John has the tickets." Annie had always been like that, having an answer to every contingency.

"But I don't have anything to wear." An empty attempt to deflect Annie was correct of course. The blue dress was splendid even if it exposed more cleavage than she was comfortable with but the shawl could be used to block any fashion misadventure.

"Who are we going to see, if I decide to go." She had lost, best to just accept it.

"His name is Jay McCarey. He does the old songs; he does a great Elvis Presley impersonation." Annie accepted the offered defeat with grace.

"Well, that's settled. I guess I'd better get ready."

"It'll be fun, Mom. We'll pick you up at five, have a nice dinner before going to the theater." The two women rose, hugging, relieved that the battle was over.

After showering, Cassandra did feel somewhat better about going out. At forty - five, she was no teenage girl getting ready for the prom; her blond hair was natural and she still curved in the right places, if not as dramatic as in her younger days. Maybe tonight would be fun after all.


	2. The Last Concert

It was the day after Christmas and Jay McCarey and his friends couldn't believe how fast Christmas Day had come and gone. At 1:07 PM Jay was off until 7:00 PM because he had a concert to do. The concert would be a good time to use the new guitar his friend, Marlene Potsie, had given him for Christmas and he could tell her he started using it.

The week before Christmas and New Year's was always a bit hectic; this year especially with the last show of the year tonight. Steve and his co - worker/girlfriend, Madeline, flying in had been a pleasant surprise although he wasn't sure how Marlene had taken the news that Steve was in a relationship by the looks of things. Christmas had been so festive with all the colored lights and decorations, he was feeling a definite letdown. His fingers picked at the strings; the show tonight then a break until after the New Year. He found himself looking forward to the New Year with anticipation.

While playing the new guitar, Jay drifted in thought. The guitar had been a good choice with a deep rich sound, better than his old one. Steve and Madeline returned to his mind; Steve giving Madeline a beautiful engagement ring of pearls and accompanying proposal had surprised everyone and on hindsight had opened an area in Jay's life he hadn't thought of in years. He had gotten lucky, his career had taken off with yearly tours and recording sessions; relationships were out of the question. What woman wanted to stay home while he took off for months on tour? He had his friends and that was enough for now. Deciding to pray for the show, Jay put the guitar away.

Going through the prayer list had taken longer than planned; by the time he finished, it was time to grab something to eat. He had learned the hard way about going onstage on an empty stomach. No one had mentioned getting together for a New Year's party but they always did. He made a mental note to think of something special for the party. All too soon, it seemed time flew by, it was time to leave.

While driving to the Rainbow Room, Jay knew he had his career thanks to Barry Manilow. Now, he had a recording career even if he never thought he would become a recording artist. He had always wanted to sing onstage, telling his mother when his parents moved into his house they had bought him when he turned eighteen. His mother thought he would be as big as Elvis Presley; Jay had his doubts on that point. He had also been lucky in that first year he had been hired to sing at the Hilton Hotel and had never had any health issues to have his manager, Paul Francis, cancel any concerts and disappoint his fans. While driving to the hotel, Jay said a fast and last prayer for the show. Being a religious man, he liked to pray for hours when nobody was around to disturb him. Unlike his sister, Karen, however, worked at the sheriff's office every day and hardly had the time to go to church like he did.

He had time to dress at the hotel as Barry would do the opening act. And too, there was the physical therapy appointment from his fall before Christmas. He would have to bring up the tour with the therapist and see what could be done.

The auditorium was packed to standing room only. Jay had never paid much attention to the groupies that crowded the stage and tonight was no different. They came in all sizes, shapes, young, pretty but with one thing in common: they screamed. Very loud. He spotted her towards the end of the first set; she wasn't crowding the stage standing away from the groupies, swaying with the beat. He became aware of her face first then the bright smile when she realized he was looking at her.

The blue dress was fashionable with a white scarf that hung just below her shoulders, accepting and complimenting her appearance. In all the years he'd spent onstage he's never missed a note, always nailing each and every notation with precision. Until tonight. He missed a note, recovering quickly, but not before he felt the rush of heat and the sweating palms. He had to meet this woman who had upset him so much; he hoped she would be part of the crowd wanting an autograph. Yet in the pit of his stomach he felt fear, fear that she would be waiting.

He finished the set, and as usual went to sign autographs. He caught a glimpse of retreating blue. A feeling of lose overcame him; he couldn't miss out meeting her now! His friend Marlene could find her but he had this urge to meet her now, tonight. Every second counted, one chance to stop her and he needed help. He had never felt this way about a woman; with new feelings he barely recognized, he raced for the stage. Without thinking, he picked up his guitar on the way to the microphone.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I need your help. There is a woman with a certain smile leaving the auditorium. She's blond, wearing a blue dress with a white shawl. Please ask if she would return to the stage."

Was it a small quiet voice or just intuition? He would never know; he did what he knew best, he started to sing.

A certain smile, a certain face  
can lead an unsuspecting heart on a merry chase.  
A fleeting glance can say so many lovely things,  
suddenly you know why my heart sings.*

"I hope you realize just how embarrassing this is." She was beyond upset. Her arms holding the shawl across her breasts.

Jay was speechless as he gazed into steel blue eyes, aware of steel daggers thrown his way from the most intriguing blue eyes that he had ever seen. Eyes that could launch a thousand ships and sink the vessels. If he wanted a chance with this mystery woman, he'd have to tread softly and do it fast. Sitting the guitar aside, he made his way off the stage, stopping in front of her.

"I...I'm sorry if I embarrassed you, that wasn't my intent."

"And just what is your intent, Mr. McCarey?" She wasn't backing down, holding her ground. "Are you 'hitting' on me?"

"What's this 'hitting'? I haven't even touched you." Her eyes softened but remained guarded, a wary smile began playing at the corners of her mouth.

"You're new at this, aren't you, Mr. McCarey?" Her arms relaxed, her smile growing. Taking this as a good sign, he returned the smile.

"Isn't that obvious? Please, call me Jay. I usually have breakfast at 'Granny's' after the show before going home. Would you do me the honor of joining me?"

The woman looked at him as if studying something under a microscope. The crowd had grown quiet around the two, awaiting her answer.

"Thank you, but I don't think so. I don't date. Good - night, Mr. McCarey." She started to turn, intended to walk away.

"If you're worried that I'm asking for a date...how about a non - date?" He had to stop her.

"A non - date?" She stopped, turning her attention back to him. "What do you mean?"

"We share breakfast but it's not a 'date.'" 'Please say yes!' he thought.

"I'll accept on one condition, Mr. McCarey. I'm with friends, the condition is that they join us."

She laughed and Jay thought he would do near anything to hear that laugh again...and again. The crowd erupted in applause.

"As long as they don't number over twenty - five." 'Yes!'

"Only two others. There is one thing you could do to make up for embarrassing me..." Her smile had moved to her eyes, her rich laughter filled his heart.

"Name it and it's yours."

"Please finish "A Certain Smile."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A Certain Smile 1958, performed by Johnny Mathis, music by Sammy Fain, lyrics by Paul Webster. Written for the 1958 movie by the same name, nominated for the best original song.


	3. The Searchers

Jay gave her directions to the restaurant and returned to the stage for the finishing act. She found a spot off to the side, laughing and moving to the beat of the music.

It had to be the fastest changing act in the history of entertainment. Jay wished the band and everyone a Happy New Year, heading to 'Granny's' and the non - date. Entering the restaurant, he spotted the white shawl immediately; she sat with her back to him, a young couple was seated facing her. They were sitting at his favorite table, close to the kitchen for quick service but not too close that one had to yell to be heard over the banging of pots and pans of the chef calling out orders.

"Hi, sorry it took so long. Have you ordered yet?" Trepidation and excitement mixed to make him nervous.

The young couple, another blond and her husband, turned out to be Mr. and Mrs. John, ("call me Jack") Hunter.

"Hi, I'm Cassandra Fox, Mrs. David Fox." Her hand was smooth, firm, the emphasis on the "Mrs." and the ring on her finger didn't go unnoticed. She had been beautiful at the show, now, in this setting Jay took notice just how lovely she was.

"Good evening, Mr. McCarey, your usual?" Their waitress had waited while introductions were being made.

"Yes," Jay responded, then turned his attention to his guests. "I recommend the chicken fried steak breakfast. Granny's has the best in Detroit and possibly the state."

"Then make it four." Cassandra handed the menu to the waitress.

Their food was delivered steaming hot and delicious; consumed over light and lively banter. Jay paid attention to Cassandra and that certain smile.

"Thank you, Mr. McCarey, for a wonderful evening but we must be getting home." The couple rose, preparing to leave. "Please stay and enjoy your after meal coffee."

"You have a beautiful daughter, Mrs. Fox." Jay observed as they settled back in their seats after watching the young couple leave. Their waitress cleared the table and took the order for coffee.

"How did you know Annie was my daughter?" She sipped diet soda through a straw, her eyes playing hide and seek from behind dark eyelashes. "Are you a private detective also?"

"No, not at all." Jay smiled, "the family resemblance is unmistakable, she's too old to be your granddaughter, therefore she has to be your daughter."

"And why did you ask me to this breakfast non - date after seeing my wedding ring? Most men would have run for the the nearest door." Their coffees were delivered along with the check.

"First, when I saw you at the show, no man around nor did a man join you. You are too beautiful to go out for an evening without a husband or at least an escort/boyfriend. Only two reasons would account for that: divorce or widowed. Second, you still wear your ring, that eliminates divorce. I had a fifty - fifty chance you'd say yes so I took the risk.

"Also, your daughter and son - in - law were chaperones if I was a cad. We've been left alone so I'm guessing I've passed her test...or was it your test?"

"A bit of both, I guess. I asked if you were new at dating. I confess I'm new at it too. Annie thinks I should get out of the house more.

"Why here, I'd think you'd want to get home? And please, call me Cassandra or Cassie."

"I'm in no hurry to go to an empty house, Cassandra. Granny's also has better food and coffee; I'm no cook, oatmeal is about my limit."

Line Break

Part 2

As Jay and Cassandra talked over their meal and coffee, it grew late. Karen, Jay's sister, began to fret. Jay usually called after the show. As a deputy sheriff, Karen was well aware of what could happen in the snowstorm brewing outside. Divorced with two adopted boys, she and Carla, her African - American roommate/friend normally stayed up late until they heard from Karen's older brother.

"Where could Jay be? He said he'd call after the last show, what if he got into a car accident?" Karen asked, wringing her hands as she paced.

"I wouldn't worry, Karen, if he was in an accident, the police would have called. He's old enough to take care of himself."

"Look at how late it is." Karen had checked the time on the grandfather clock every few minutes. "Think we should call Marlene?"

"If it'll make you feel better, go ahead." Carla wasn't too worried about Jay, instead she thought of their friend, Steve Griswold and the surprising events of he and Madeline announcing their engagement.

Karen hit the wrong number and had to redial before she heard the phone being answered on the first ring at Bill and Tina Thompson's home.

"Hello?" Luckily, Marlene answered.

"Hi, Marlene, have you heard from Jay? He hasn't called and I'm getting worried."

"No, Karen, I haven't heard from Jay. Maybe he just forgot to call."

"Will you do me a favor, could you look for Jay, please? I know it's my job but I need to stay here if he calls."

"All right, Ms. Cop, I'll save you this time. After this you can go back to finding people."

Karen saw Carla cringe as she hung up. Carla and Marlene might be cousins but they might be completely different. "I hope she finds him."

"I didn't like that name she called you." Carla patted Karen's shoulder, "I brewed some tea, want a cup?"

"Yes, thank you, Carla." Karen continued her pacing.

Line Break

Part 3

Pulling on her pink motorcycle helmet with the red heart, Marlene hoped she'd find Jay soon, the storm was growing in strength. She guessed Jay wouldn't be at the Rainbow Room but if she was lucky Paul Francis, Jay's manager, might still be there and would know where Jay had gone. It would be a good place to start. Firing up the motorcycle with matching pink fuel tank and red heart, Marlene roared off into the storm.

She was lucky, only Paul supervising the breakdown crew was present when she walked into the room.

"Hello, Marlene." Paul broke away from the crew, walking toward Marlene.

"Hi, Paul. I'm looking for Jay. Is he still here?" They had known each other for years, their friendship had easy and comfortable.

"No, he left as soon as the show ended. He said he was headed for Granny's. I got the impression he was meeting that blonde he met during the show, not sure though. You want me to tell him you were looking for him?"

"A blonde did you say? Are we talking the same Jay McCarey? I don't think I've seen Jay with any woman. Ever. No, no need to tell him. I'll probably see him first."

"That was my only impression, they talked during the intermission then he left like his pants were on fire."

"Maybe they were, Paul." Marlene winked wickedly, "that would explain why he forgot to call Karen."

Marlene laughed as she rode away after thanking Paul. 'A woman? A blonde no less. This I gotta see.'


	4. Secrets, Ice cream and a Kiss

The warm air of Granny's was a welcome break from the falling snow. Marlene removed her helmet, letting her eyes adjust to the bright lights. She hoped this would be the end of her search, find Jay, tell him to call his sister and get back to her own bed. It wasn't fun riding a motorcycle in the snow.

"Good morning, Ms. Potsie. Table for one?" The waitress looked tired but put on a warm smile. Working this shift couldn't be easy. Staying awake and bad tempered guests would be the least of an overnight shift.

"I wouldn't be staying, just looking for Mr. McCarey. I hope he's here."

"His usual table. Sure I can't get you a cup of coffee? It looks cold out there."

"It is. To go, then. I'll pick it up on my way out. I won't be long." Marlene headed towards Jay's table, coming up short when she spotted Jay and the blonde woman. Jay probably would never forgive her for what she was thinking but it was cold out and she didn't relish going back out without warming up a little.

She edged closer; the woman wasn't from the show. The two coffee cups sat in front of them, they were so busy talking, they didn't notice as Marlene moved close enough to eavesdrop. This could prove interesting. The woman was pretty and had a light, easy laugh.

"It's getting late, Mr. McCarey. I didn't realize how late. I had a fun time at the show and thank you for asking me to this breakfast non - date. Do you think the restaurant would call me a cab?"

"I had fun too, Cassandra. If you don't mind, I'll take you home. It'll take at least an hour for a cab to get here."

'Cassandra, huh?' Marlene stored the name in her memory. They seemed to be having fun and she could just back away, get her coffee and leave. She'd found Jay so she'd done her good deed for the day. But the setup was too good to pass up.

"Well, hi, Hotcakes." Marlene spoke loud enough so as not to surprise them too much. Jay jerked as if he'd been shot.

"Marlene! What are you doing here?" He was not a happy camper. His eyes narrowed to mere as he rose, looking at Marlene.

"Looking for you. Karen got worried and asked me to look for you. Aren't you going to introduce me?"

"Cassandra Fox, may I introduce Marlene Potsie, an ex - friend. Marlene, Cassandra Fox. Okay, Marlene, you found me. Good - night."

"So good to meet you, Cassandra. Don't mind Hotcakes, he gets irritated when his sister plays mother."

"I'm glad to meet a friend of Mr. McCarey. Do you really ride in this weather?" Cassandra indicated the helmet.

"Only when brothers don't call their sisters when they say they will." Marlene was clearly enjoying annoying Jay.

"Mine has been winterized and put to bed for the winter."

"What do you ride, 250 or 300?"

"'Sassy Cassie' is a 900 BMW, which is a shaft drive. I have it set up for touring. I can hardly wait for spring."

"Marlene, can't you be irritating somewhere else?"

"I'm going, Hotcakes. Nice to meet you, Cassandra. Maybe we can get together and talk motorcycles another time."

"Or riding, once spring gets here."

"Marlene!" Marlene decided right then she'd worn out here welcome with the warning in Jay's voice. If she pushed anymore, she'd really be an ex - friend. Jay and Cassie watched as she picked up her coffee and left the restaurant.

"Hotcakes?" Cassie couldn't help but smile.

"Never mind Marlene. She calls me that because she knows I don't like that nickname. It is getting late. Let's get you home."

"I guess you better since Annie took my ride and I don't feel like waiting for an hour. Looks like Granny's is closing up and waiting for us."

Jay paid the ticket and smiled when she took his arm. The ride to Cassandra's home was made mostly in silence, with her giving directions. She settled back in deep leather seat, observing Jay as he maneuvered the vehicle with her guidance. She was glad that Annie had talked, badgered would be a better word, into going to the concert, it had been fun. But here she was in a strange car being driven by a strange man. They had known each other only hours yet she felt a curious liking him; his nearness creating a raging battle with her emotions. She would have to tell him of course, and that would put an end of any future they might have had. A thousand questions fought for attention, the first one was would he kiss her good - night on their non - date?

"Next right, corner house on the left." Suddenly she didn't want the night, morning now, she reminded herself, to end. "You can park in the driveway."

She dug her keys out of the oversized purse, waiting for him to open the car door. The snow was coming down harder as she took his arm for balance and walked toward the door. "Thank you again, Jay, for a most enjoyable evening."

"Can...may...I call you tomorrow...guess that would be later today?"

"Jay...I...would you like some coffee? I might be able to scare up some apple pie."

"You had me at the coffee." He tried to laugh off but it sounded forced, nervous.

She went about turning the coffee pot on. "Make yourself at home, cups are in the cupboard. I'll just slip into something more comfortable."

Jay knew something was wrong, he just couldn't put his finger on what. He retrieved two cups and set them on the counter. While Cassandra was changing, Jay walked around the living room. Pictures placed around the room and Jay spotted what had bothered him: no pictures of her former husband were on display. One would expect a few pictures of children playing with their father but no pictures of him were present.

In her bedroom, Cassandra stepped out of her dress; dressed in matching satin bra and panties, she searched her closet. Deciding on a snug pair of jeans and cream - colored sweater, and her mind turned to the man in the other room. As soon as she told him her ugly secret, he'd beat a retreat and she'd never see him again. That thought made her sad. At age forty - five, two kids and gravity had taken its toll but she still had a few curves left.

Pulling the sweater over her head, she checked the bathroom mirror. Leaving the room she found Jay pouring coffee. She went about retrieving the pie from the fridge, placing them in the microwave. Adding scoops of ice cream from the freezer, she turned to Jay.

"Jay, you asked if you could call me later today. Before I answer, you need to know something about me." He took her in his arms, she let him pull her into the embrace.

"You don't have to tell me anything, Cassie."

"Yes, I do. You have a right to know. You may have read about the accident in the papers. My husband, David, was killed in an auto accident. He lost control, left the road and hit a tree. He wasn't alone; he was with a woman and that woman wasn't me. He had spent...some time...with her in a motel under an assumed name.

"Jay, we only met hours ago and you seem like a nice guy. I don't want to be hurt like that again and I don't want you to be hurt. I'm not looking for a new relationship..."

He drew her back into his arms, "Cassie, the ice cream is melting. If you want me to, I will. But I still want to call you."

She stiffened at the light pressure of his lips on hers. She felt the spark ignite deep inside her coat, the warmth spreading. Her body responding and she melted into the pleasant kiss as the pleasure increased. It had been a long time since she had been kissed like this.


	5. Opening Doors

Meanwhile, Marlene returned home and gave Karen a call, telling her she found Jay safe and sound. They arranged to meet for lunch at Tina's later that day. Karen had pressed for details but, wanting her news to be a surprise, Marlene had stayed mum.

"Car 15, Code 7. Have a nice lunch, Karen." Dispatch responded to her off duty call. Karen returned the mike to its holder and parked her cruiser.

"Hi, Tina, the gang here?" She called out when she entered the eatery.

"In the back, everyone is going for the buffet, that okay with you?" Tina called back. The restaurant was filling up with the lunch crowd and Tina turned back to the next customer.

"Sounds good to me, Tina." Karen wound her way through the tables to the back room. Marlene had taken the head of the table as royalty holding court.

"We've been waiting for you, Karen. Now we can eat and maybe get Marlene to tell us her story." Steve picked up a plate, selecting food from the hooded table. Everyone followed his example.

"Okay, Marlene, what's up with our musician friend?" Steve spoke but everyone turned their attention to Marlene. She had to swallow before speaking.

"I found Jay at Granny's having breakfast with a blonde woman and they looked very friendly, if you get my drift."

"What!?" Karen cried out over the group talking all at once. "That can't be right. Jay doesn't date. You must have seen things."

"I saw what I saw. Even met the woman, she's very nice and rides a motorcycle like me. Hotcakes was indeed on a date and was upset over being interrupted. And I'll tell you something else..."

"What?" everyone asked at once, eyes wide with wonder at the news.

"I wouldn't be amazed if those two don't get married." Marlene was in pure heaven at being the center of attention.

Line Break

Part 2

Jay and Cassie had finished their pie a la mode, finding reasons to touch, allowing a touch to turn into a caress. They took their coffee to the living room, settling to the sofa. Their hands found each other, fingers intertwining.

"I want to tell you something else," she smiled, "you did pass Annie's test. Remember when we left to powder our noses..."

"And left Jack and I to stare at each other..."

"She bet me five dollars, double or nothing, that you'd ask for a second date. Sorry, first date, since tonight was a non - date." She grinned, "Are you asking?"

"I'm asking." His fingers traced a line down her jaw, lifting her chin, their lips meeting in a tender kiss.

"Here, tomorrow night, I have shopping to do today, and I need time to get pretty for you. It won't be much, salad and spaghetti."

"You're beautiful now. You expecting a visit from your fairy godmother? In that case maybe I should head home."

"I think the storm has gotten worse, I have a spare room if you'd like to wait till tomorrow..."

Her lips were soft, flexible.

"The neighbors might talk..."

"They're talking now, I think they have a pool on when I'll start dating again."

"Are we dating? I really should go."

"There is the snow...I fix a mean bowl of oatmeal...please, Jay, I'm serious, I lost a husband to a storm, I don't want to lose you, not now...do you want to date?"

"Yes, dating would be nice...a spare room did you say?"

"That's all I'm offering...for now...and oatmeal in the morning." They had been kissing throughout the conversation, gentle, caressing kisses that spoke of hidden feelings, held in check for far too long. Cassandra let out a breath, one she hadn't been aware of holding, the next kiss would be their first as a dating couple; a door once opened would be hard to close.

"Then I'll stay." Simple, but so complicated with consequences as his fingers combining through her hair, drawing her willingly into a kiss that fanned the smoldering embers into a new conflagration.

Line Break

Part 3

"Good - night, Jay." She pushed him away, loath to call an end to the evening and the kisses they had shared. "Fresh towels are in the bathroom across the hall."

"Good - night, Cassie, and thanks."

Cassie closed and leaned against the door to her bedroom, after a good - night kiss. It was going to be interesting, dating again and getting to know this strange man in her spare bedroom. Her fingers played along where his lips had been only moments before.

It was funny, she thought, as she peeled out of her clothes, selecting a nightgown; she had come so close not accompanying Annie and Jack tonight. She had been tempted to invite him to share her bed, or better, the room he now occupied. That thought, that she'd actually contemplate such a thing, scared and excited at the same time. The idea that it would be easy to tread back down the hall...was interrupted by the ringing of the phone sitting beside her bed.

"Hello?" Giving up the idea of joining Jay, she crawled into her own bed, alone, again.

"Hi, Mom, so did he ask? Is he still there?"

"Annie! Yes, to both questions but don't worry about your mother. The weather was so bad I convinced him to spend the night in the spare bedroom."

"Bet it didn't take much convincing. What are you two doing for a second date?"

"Italian dinner here, tomorrow night."

"Sounds romantic. Mom, want to meet for lunch and shop. A new relationship means new clothes and lingerie."

"Annie, that sounds good but don't go ordering wedding invitations."

"That doesn't mean I can't look." Annie laughed, "Something sexy but understated, I think."

"Clothes or invitations?" Cassie wondered.

"Good - night, Mom. See you for lunch."

Cassie snuggled under the covers with sexy dresses and lacy lingerie dancing in her head, she floated off to sleep.

It was mid - morning when Cassie woke, stretching leisurely, and wondering how Jay spent the night. And if he was still here or had woke up and left. Pulling the nightgown over her head, she adjusted the water to her liking. The hot water felt good but it would take more than soap and water to wash away the feelings of guilt and low self - esteem that had built up over the five years since the accident. It had been her fault, if she'd been a better wife, maybe David wouldn't have felt the need to wonder from their bed.

With shampoo cascading over her shoulders, down over a body that still went in and out where it should, she thought Annie's idea of a new wardrobe and lingerie was a good one. She became aware of exhilaration at the idea of shopping (with Jay in mind). She stepped from the shower, grabbing a towel.

Freshly dressed in dark dress slacks, rose print blouse, she entered the kitchen and went about fixing the promised oatmeal. Satisfied that the oatmeal would be okay for a few minutes, she made her way down the hallway.

"Jay?" she whispered softly, sitting on the edge of the bed. "You awake?"

His eyes opened, focusing on her. "Good morning. I guess I overslept."

"You were tired, I let you sleep as long as possible. The oatmeal is ready.

"YIPE!" she cried out, his arm wrapping around her waist, pulling her over his hip onto the bed.

"Jay," surprise turned to a pleasurable moan when his lips found hers. "As much as I'm enjoying this, and believe me, I am, you have to know I'm not the one night stand type."

"Never thought you were." His breath was warm against her cheek, his nearness left her resolve weak. It would be so easy to just let go, prolong his moment, forget the past. Her hand caressed his cheek,

"I'm glad to hear that."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The rating to the story of this original version and its fanfiction version will be strong T.


	6. Oatmeal and Candles

"Are we getting the gang together for New Year's?" Carla asked. It was morning and the boys were scampering around, screeching at the top of their young lungs, darting between Carla and Karen's legs.

"Can we stay up on New Year's," Norman, the oldest at thirteen, was self - appointed speaker and leader of the energetic boys. 

"Please, Mom?" Jay, age eight, had to follow his big brother's lead.

"We'll see," Karen responded, "if you two have your homework done."

"Oh, Mom!" the boys exclaimed together, flopping into chairs. Karen spooned oatmeal into bowls, adding milk.

"No homework, no party, no staying up." Karen repeated the rule. Karen glanced over at Carla, winking, both knew the boys would be asleep before the big ball fell.

"I got an idea at lunch yesterday. Think Tina would cater the meal? Six o'clock sound good for dinner?"

"Anything that makes less work for us sounds good, Karen. What about Jay, think he'll bring this new girl you said Marlene mentioned?"

"Uncle Jay has a girlfriend? Ouch!" Jay yelped as his brother jabbed his shoulder.

"That's enough, Norman. I don't know, Jay."

"I'll call Steve and Tina," Carla offered. "If you call Jay."

"Thanks a lot!" Karen laughed, grabbing her gun on the way out. "Why are you making me call Jay?"

"He's your brother, Karen, not mine."

'Actually, any woman who can get Jay interested in something other than music is someone I want to meet,' Karen thought as she got into her cruiser and drove away.

Line Break

Part 2

Jay sat in his recliner, stretched out to the max, thinking. Thinking about the extraordinary woman who had come into his life...and turned it upside down. Take this morning such as, she'd whispered, "I'm glad to hear that."

He had never had a woman in bed before. A woman with soft lips yielding to his.

"Wow." She laughed, pushing on his chest, withdrawing. "That was unquestionably a wow kiss."

They had continued to kiss, whispering, touching, the closeness. There was no way to tell how long they would have remained lying on the bed had not been for the peculiar order permeating the room.

"Oatmeal! Jay, the oatmeal!" Cassie had bounded off the bed mid kiss. The oatmeal had been ruined, a new batch had to be made.

The ringing of the phone broke into his thoughts. Reaching out, he lifted into the receiver, "Hello."

"Jay, you up to helping an old woman go to Mass this evening?" Jay wasn't used to having someone calling but he found he didn't mind at all. Was this what love was? He wasn't sure. "I can pick you up."

"I'd love to, Cassie. Make it thirty minutes? I'll leave the door unlocked."

"Okay. I know this great pie shop, maybe I'll treat you afterwards. See you soon."

Thirty minutes later...

"Jay, I'm here." Cassie called out, closing the door. She looked around a typical bachelor pad. Sheet music littered every flat space. The kitchen table, what she could see of it, had been turned into a horizontal space. The kitchen table, what she could see of it, had been turned into a horizontal file cabinet.

"Be out in a minute, just need to get my shoes on."

"Turning the tables, are we? It's usually the guy who has to wait." That warm feeling settled just south of her navel as she heard his answering laugh. 'You got it bad, sister,' she thought.

"Get that, will you, Cassie? One shoe down, one to go." The phone's ringing intruded on her thoughts.

"Hello..." Cassie reacted, uncertain of protocol in such a situation.

"I was looking for Jay McCarey...did I get the wrong number?" the female voice sounded guarded, unsure.

"No, I mean yes...I mean Jay is here...getting dressed. May I take a message?"

"This is Karen, his sister, just tell him the New Year's party is at my house at six o'clock. You're invited too. We're having it catered." The line went dead.

"Jay?" Cassie looked at the phone, laughing. "That was your sister. I think we'll have some explaining to do at the party."

"I'll bet she was surprised when you answered the phone." He took her in his arms.

"No bet, you'd win."

"I know," he kissed the top of her nose, "Karen is a cop. She has to pigeon - hole everybody, including me. Thanks to you I've broken out of her box; it has to be very distressing for her. Right about now, she's searching for a new box for me and she hasn't met you so you don't fit in any box either."

"Sounds confusing. I hope you don't mind going early, I'd like time to light candles."

"Not at all. I'm looking forward to that pie."

"Ever try Grasshopper pie with whipped cream? Think it'll be as sweet as this?" Dropping her coat, she drew his head down into a lingering kiss.

Line Break

Part 3

St. Rita's Vineyard Catholic Church was elegant without being pretentious. Many of the parish had already arrived, selecting their favorite pews. Two older women, to pass the time, began to chat.

"Think that Cassandra will re - marry?" the first whispered conspiratorially.

"She could, she's young enough, pretty." The second named off reasons why Cassandra could marry again.

"Anything about...you know...a man?" the first asked with a wink.

"Bertie, you know, Bertie, said she had a man spend the night during that storm."

"Hush, here she comes... and look, she's with a man. I wonder if it's that man who spent the night?"

"And a good - looking man at that. Makes one wish on when she will re - marry." The one known as Marge said.

Jay watched as Cassandra began lighting candles, all the while thinking of kisses they had shared and just how he was going to explain Cassandra to Karen. It wouldn't be an easy task, knowing Karen. She had never made it easy.

"Six candles?" he asked as she lit the sixth candle.

"My two children, my late husband, his mistress, and one for the baby she was carrying..."

"And the sixth?"

"For myself. It's been five years since the accident and I blame myself every day. I feel I failed him in some way, wasn't good enough. It was my fault, if I had been a better wife, maybe he wouldn't have been with her that night."

"It wasn't your fault, Cassie. He made his choice. You light candles...have you forgiven him?"

"And have you forgiven her, Jay? The girl who betrayed you and drove you away from any chance of a loving relationship?"

"Yes," he replied, "it took years but in the end..."

"As I will...in time...just as you did. The scars are deep and painful..."

He interrupted her by pulling her into his arms, holding her as she silently sobbed. "I'm so sorry, Cassie."

"There is one thing you should know. You've won Annie over, we had a great time shopping today. It's Brad we'll have to work on; he was very close to his father.

"There's the call to worship, perhaps we should go in."

"Unless you prefer a piece of pie." A hopefully gleam shown in his eyes.


	7. Candlelight Dinner

Cassandra stepped back, surveying the scene. Jay was due at any moment and she watched everything in apple pie order. The food sat on the table, ready. Candles burned softly throughout the room, a fire burned bright and cherry in the fireplace, music floated from the entertainment center. That had been harder than one might think, Jay played the older songs, did a very good Elvis Presley impersonation; she had settled on Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata. The piece had been dedicated to his student with whom he fell in love, a good choice for tonight's dinner. It had been a hectic couple days but Cassie wouldn't change a minute.

Jay had been hesitant the Grasshopper pie, making a face at the little plastic grasshoppers on each pie. She had taken her fork, offering the first bite. That had been all it took; the mint, the coconut and the marshmallows had won him over. They had laughed, it felt good to laugh, really laugh, again. Five years of self - incrimination and pity, feeling unattractive had taken its toll; Jay had changed that at last night's Mass. He held her while she cried on his shoulder, caressing her hair.

The doorbell chimed, announcing Jay's arrival. With a new found excitement, Cassie rushed to answer the door. He stood, with flowers in his hand, like a teenaged boy on his first date, which wasn't that far from the truth. He pushed the flowers at her, "These are for you."

"They're beautiful, Jay. Please, come in; I'll just put them in a vase."

"I didn't know what flowers you like." He heard water flowing. He watched intently at her as she returned, swaying to and fro in her Tuscan orange - red, sleeveless dress with a "V" neckline that revealed just a hint of cleavage.

"The roses are perfect." She slipped into his arms encircling her waist, her body melting against his harder frame, her lips against his were yielding, loving.

Cassandra broke the kiss, her head resting in the nook between shoulder and neck. She wasn't sure why she should feel safe and secure in his arms but she couldn't deny the fact that she did. His warm breath, then a kiss on her neck sent her pulse racing, her body responding.

"Jay," she moved her head back, her eyes finding his. "Thank you."

"Thank me for what? What did I do?"

"Last night, at Mass, you held me while I cried. You see, I haven't cried in five years, not even at my husband's funeral which probably raised some eyebrows. The tears washed my soul, releasing me. And I have you to thank for that cleansing shower."

She sighed deeply, "I think we should eat before the food gets cold. It's either that or I'll have to ask you to spend another night and this time there isn't a storm. That would really give the neighbors something to talk about."

He held her chair as she eloquently swung her nylon legs under the table, "Would you say grace, please?"

"It would be my honor." He took her hand before bowing his head.

After he finished, she placed her napkin on her lap, passing a wine glass to him. "It's non - catholic, carbonated apple cider. I didn't know how you liked your spaghetti, so I went traditional family style."

"I'm sure it will be delicious as it looks." The Insalata Caprese salad was delectable and light to start with before delving into a meal of spaghetti, marinara sauce and Tuscan bread rolls.

"We have Straffoil for dessert while we watch a movie so don't eat too much."

"To good food, good company and to the New Year." He lifted his glass.

"Hear, hear!"

They talked between bites, topics raging from the weather and if it would snow on New Year's, to what they had been doing in the few hours since they parted. Shopping with Annie had come to her mind, it had been Annie that found the dress she now wore along with a slinky satin and lace peignoir set.

She had to smile inwardly at how Jay would react if she wore the sexy ivory attire.

"Would you please add another log to the fire while I clear the dishes?" She started gathering dishes, carrying them to the sink.

He was forty - seven years old and had never started or knew how to 'add another log' but he would do anything to please this woman that had awakened new, strange - and scary - feelings. Upon entering the living room he squatted on his haunches, studying the fire. It had died down while they shared delicious food and meaningful short caresses; small flames still licked at the red hot coals.

He had another problem, she had said 'add another log' but in the wood basket setting beside the fireplace lay logs in three different sizes. What size did she want or what was she waiting to see what size he'd choose? Playing safe, he chose a medium sized log, placing it on top of the coals. In moments small flames flared, eating at the new fuel.

The dishwasher began, he swiveled, watching her move as she approached, her Tuscan dress swaying, keeping time with her steps. The tray she carried was loaded with the promised desserts, two cups of coffee. He beamed, rising to take the tray. "Thank you. The fire looks great."

They selected the movie together, a comfortable conversation about movies they each liked. Cassie placed the movie in the player, hitting the play button on the remote. They sat side by side, bodies touching here and there. The opening credits rolled as Cassie picked up a napkin, choosing a confection and offering it to Jay.

"I should warn you, it's one of my favorites but it is decadent." He took a bite, tentatively, being extra careful not to nip her fingers. Not a big fan of sweets, he savored the light and airy dessert. A mixture of pastry and honey was almost too sugary. She held the honeyed concoction until the last disappeared with his lips brushing against her fingertips. She couldn't hide the shiver that stole up her spine. Nor did she want to ignore the delightful feeling. Cassandra relished the feeling, felt it settle in her core, making her aware of a warmth that had nothing to do with the fire crackling in the fireplace. It had been a long time since a man made her feel this way.

"Your turn." Jay reversed the process, offering a particular piece of pastry, heavy with honey. She bit daintily into the concoction. Watching her, he couldn't help but notice how beautiful she was in the flickering candlelight and TV screen. He felt the shiver was washing over her body as she closed her eyes, savoring the tasty treat. She caught a finger, caressing the the digit until the drizzling honey was no more.

With a jolt, Jay realized what had been bothering him all evening. Two things actually. One, she wore no ring, a pale circle adorned the slim finger of her left hand. Taking her hand he kissed the light - colored band, "You're not wearing your wedding ring."

Rescuing her hand, her head lowering, her voice barely above a whisper, "Earlier today I realized I'd been hanging on to David. I'd actually made an alter to his memory.

"It's been a long time to worship at an empty shrine. I feel it's time to move on with my life."

"And the missing Christmas tree." The second thing that he'd noticed.

"Call it 'empty nest syndrome,'" abruptly she rose, placing in front of him, "after the funeral I just didn't want to deal with all the happiness. It's hard to get excited over anything, let alone Christmas, when you are alone."

"Is this because of me?" Jay took her hand, stopping her pacing.

She stretched out across his lap, across him; instinctively he bent his knees against the ottoman giving her a piece to rest her back. She leaned against his thighs; reaching out a hand to caress his cheek.

"Would you want it to be - because of you?"

And so they talked between honey sweetened kisses as the world faded away. The movie ended, the closing credits rolling across the screen. The fire died to ash covered coals.

The next day Jay arrived mid morning with a Christmas tree and boxes of decorations. The following day would be New Year's Eve.


	8. Here and Now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The flashback in this chapter is rated MA or PG - 17...please read responsibly.

Cassandra twirled 'round, watching her reflection in the mirror. The party dress flared out, petticoats flashing white, playing peek - a - boo from under the dress. It was exhilarating to be getting dressed for a man again.

"That golden dress looks fantastic on you, Mom. This turquoise necklace and earrings would be the perfect accessories." Annie handed jewelry to her mother, then stepped back to survey the result. "Jay is going to love it."

"You think so? Annie...what would you and Brad think if Jay and I..."

"Mom, are you falling in love with Jay?"

"You saw the Christmas tree he brought over. We trimmed the tree together, it was the first time in...I don't know how long, I actually enjoyed decorating the tree and it's not even Christmas. Yes, Annie, I am in love."

"That's wonderful, Mom!" Annie interrupted, hugging her mother closely. "Brad is being Brad. He'll come around when he sees how happy you and Jay are.

"You two have fun tonight. Jack and I have a party to go to for Jack's work. In fact, I'd better scoot and get myself ready to be bored."

"Annie, there is one more thing you and Brad should know. Yesterday, I decided to sell this house. It wasn't an easy decision but I feel it's time."

After Annie had left, Cassandra walked over to the Christmas tree Jay had brought the day before. She had enjoyed Jay's presence more than lights and decorations they had hung on the tree.

Flashback:

That morning, feeling a bit lazy and nothing planned, Cassie had thrown on a set of fleece sweats. Placing the angel tree topper had been her job, climbing the ladder they had retrieved from the garage. He handed the ornament up to her, steadying her body as she secured the delicate decoration. She had stepped off the ladder and into his arms, accepting the return the offered kiss.

"You're shivering, are you cold?" He sounded concerned.

"No, Jay, just the opposite. I'm very warm in your arms. I'm afraid. I want to believe in love again, believe I can love and be loved again. I want to believe that there are good men left."

"Did you know that a butterfly, after it emerges from its cocoon, can't fly until the sun dries its wings? It wants to fly immediately, but has to wait."

"I know what you're saying, Jay." Her lips curling into a humorous smile. "There is only one thing wrong with your theory."

"And that is?"

"We aren't butterflies." She pushed his coat off.

Perhaps they both knew this moment would come, sooner or later. Better sooner or later. A song was born out of a heart once torn. A song that began deep inside, spreading out in joyful expectations. His coat dropped to the floor and she freed his shirt from his pants. The song grew stronger when she felt his hands lifting her sweatshirt, his hands causing goosebumps to form under his fingers as they drifted up to her bra. She had offered to help, being busy unbuttoning his shirt, as he fumbled with unhooking the sanity garment. Her breasts, being released from its satin and lace restraint, bounced forward eagerly, awaiting his touch.

She listened to this new song, as his fingers stroked hard, puckered tips. Lifting her arms, he removed sweatshirt and bra together. Was it beating of her heart or the beat of the song that made her gasp as butterfly kisses covered the sensitive mounds.

"Jay," she whispered, the sound of her voice joining the melody of the song, thick with pent - up wish, "be gentle. It's been a long time..."

They had slipped to the floor, making love under the twinkling lights and the angel looking on. Frenzied, passionately, clothes were thrown haphazardly to the side, forgotten. The song sang to her soul, building carrying her along until cymbals clashed, announcing the imminent crescendo; she arched her back, crying out, "YES!"

Later, they had made their way to the spare room, making love again, this time slowly, deliberately. Taking the time to learn the desires of each other.

"Good - night, Jay...I love you."

"I love you too, Cassie."

Completely sated for the first time in, she couldn't remember how long, Cassie curled spoon fashion against his body. Listening to the refrains of a song she thought she'd never hear again, she fell asleep.

End Flashback

Line Break

 

It was a quarter of six when the doorbell rang. Fluffing her hair and checking the image in full length mirror, Cassie rushed to open the door. She smiled, both at Jay and the thought of what almost happened under the Christmas tree the day before. Snowflakes decorates his dark suit. "Come in, I didn't realize it had started to snow." She stepped back, allowing him room to enter, closing the door behind him.

"It's not bad yet. You look wonderful." She twirled, laughing at his perusal of the new dress. They glided into a comfortable embrace, their lips meeting in a gentle kiss. Cassandra felt the familiar ripple flowing throughout her body. God! He could make the past disappear with a longing for the here and now.

"I just needed to get my coat." She broke the kiss reluctantly, wondering if they should cancel the party and celebrate their own New Year's here? But no, Jay had been looking forward to her meeting his friends, especially his sister. He held her hooded coat; she leaned back into him, tilting her head to accept another kiss. "Remember the party." She whispered when the kiss threatened to become passionate but she didn't move from his encircling arms.

Line Break

Part 2

They arrived at the party fashionably late because of the snow, or at least that would be their story if asked. Fat flakes turned the road into an adventure, lawns into winter wonderland. She had taken his arm, walking carefully up the sidewalk.

"Nervous?" Jay raised his hand to knock on the door.

"Nervous doesn't even come close." They both jerked back when the door opened.

"Come on in out of the cold. We've been waiting for you, Jay, you know where to put your coats."

The woman before them turned to Cassie, "I'm Karen, Jay's sister, by the way."

"I'm Cassandra, Jay's...friend." Cassie wasn't sure of the protocol on how to introduce oneself to a boyfriend's sister for the first time. Best to wait for Jay to decide on how introductions would be handled with the rest of his friends.

"Good to meet you face to face and not over the phone, Cassandra." Karen's smile was warm and real if a bit cautious.

Bill, Jay's best friend joined them as Jay put the coats away. "Hi, Jay. We were getting worried you wouldn't make it."

"The snow slowed us down a bit. Bill, this is Cassandra, a friend of mine. Cassie, meet Bill Thompson."

"Hi, Bill. Bill Thompson, the author?"

"Have you read any of my books?" Bill asked.

"Yes, they were really good, a nice read."

And so it went, from friend to friend, some pairing off as couples as Jay and Cassie did. Cassie found Steve and Madeline the most interesting with their work with National Geographic. The food was delicious, the company warm and cordial. Norman and Jay tried to stay up but in the end they fell asleep on the couch and had to be carried off to bed.

As midnight neared, the couples seemed to separate themselves, watching the TV as the lighted ball began its decent, counting off the last seconds.

10, 9, 8, 7...

Tina glanced toward the window...and screamed. 6,5,4...

Everyone looked at Tina, then the window, 3,2,1...

A face, deformed by the snow peered back. 0!


	9. Fire and Ice

"Stay here!" It had been Tina who had screamed but it was Karen that took control, moving to the locked gun cabinet, retrieving her service weapon, radio, and flashlight.

"I don't need a possible hostage situation. Carla, please check on the boys, make sure they stay in bed."

"It'll be okay, Cassie." Jay wrapped his arms around her shoulders, pulling her into a protective embrace. Carla headed for the boys' bedroom, the others grouped together, talking quietly.

Karen opened the door slowly, "Lock the door after me."

Her pistol in the ready position felt heavier than usual. In all the time she'd spent as a sheriff's deputy, she never had to use the weapon other than a threat. She hoped this time would be the same. Cassandra seemed like a nice, friendly person and it was obvious she and Jay were in love.

It was about time her brother found someone after spending his time in the entertainment industry. The flashlight showed it was still snowing, adding to the whole blanket that covered her and her neighbor's yards. The light illuminated the fresh foot prints where the prep had left the sidewalk, approaching the house, turned back as he (?) had changed his mind, then returned to the side of the house and the window. The prep must have stood at the window for some time, stomping the snow, before leaving quickly. Probably because of Tina's scream.

"Police! I'm armed. Come out with your hands on your head!" She wasn't sure where the prep was but perps were notoriously dumb at times. She didn't relish the idea of tromping through the snow; in her haste she wore no protective vest under her coat. She should call in, call for backup, but the station was on skeleton crew, responding to emergencies only. This didn't qualify as an emergency; she was on her own.

"Don't shoot! I'm coming out!" Snow covered, the perp rose from his hiding place in the hedges between the house and the sidewalk.

"Hands on top of your head. Walk toward the house, let's get out of this cold." The perp looked young in her experience, Karen had developed a sense of danger, she felt none from this perp but held her light on him and revolver ready. She knocked on the door. The door was opened by Bill.

"In, take a seat and don't move." Karen ordered and locked the revolver away.

"Brad!?" Cassandra broke away from Jay and the warm embrace, walking toward the man.

"You know who this man is?" Surprised that anyone of her friends who would know who the man was. She realized that she had accepted Cassandra in the circle of friends.

"He's my son, Bradley." She stated emotionally.

"Well, Bradley, what are you doing peeking in my window?" Karen turned her attention to the man sitting at her table.

"I...I just wanted to see this man," he nodded at Jay, "that's been seeing my mother."

"Brad, why didn't you just ask? No, you just had to embarrass me in front of Jay and worse, in front of his friends. Don't you think I've been embarrassed enough by your father?"

"What about Dad, Mom? Are you going to just forget him?"

"No, Brad, I can't forget your father. What he did will be part of my past forever." Then, changing topics, she continued, her eyes cold as ice, "You've crossed the line tonight. What happens now will be up to the police."

Brad and Annie had learned early that when Mom got that look or tone of voice, it was best to keep quiet and take your lumps. Brad did so now.

"Karen, may I talk to you?" Jay interrupted the exchange between mother and son.

"Okay, Jay, but..."

"Please?" Brother and sister moved to an area where they could talk with some privacy. Cassandra and the group watched with not a small amount of curiosity about what was being said.

"Karen, I want you to forget what happened, give the kid a break." Jay began.

"Why should I, Jay? If I wanted to that is?"

"Because I'm betting you broke procedure. You didn't call it in, didn't call for backup. There is no record for the incident, is there?" He raised his eyebrows questioningly.

"This isn't about procedure, is it, Jay? It's about Cassandra. She's that important to you?"

"You always answer a question with a question. I'll take that as a 'yes.' And yes, she's very special to me."

"Well, Bradley," Karen stated when they rejoined the group. She noticed Cassandra reclaiming her space in Jay's arms and smiled. "My brother reminded me that I may have forgotten a few things in this investigation. It seems you are free to go. But if I catch you peeking in anymore windows I'll throw the book at you."

"Brad," Cassandra claimed his attention, "there is something you and Annie don't know about the accident that claimed your father's life. Only three people know the secret I've held from you and your sister for these five years. Your father may be part of my past but I'll be damned if he'll be part of my future. Jay has to leave on tour for the third; I want you and Annie and Jay for lunch for the second.

"Jay, please take me home."

Line Break

Part 2

"Would you like to come in? I'm so sorry about Brad. Your friends probably won't want to see me again." They had parked in the driveway, Jay turning off the engine. He placed his arm around her shoulders, pulling her close, kissing her welcoming kiss.

"You'll be surprised at my friends. We're a pretty diverse group; I think that's the secret to our staying friends for so long. Let's get you inside, you must be getting cold out here."

The room was warm, comfortable as they removed their coats, hanging them in the entry closet.

"You know where everything is, set up the coffee, I could use something hot. I want to get out of this dress."

In the inner sanctum of her bedroom, Cassandra pulled the pink box out of the closet placing it on the bed before disrobing. Jay had been so handsome tonight and she was thankful for whatever she had said to his sister about releasing Brad. She slipped peignoir over her head letting it settle on her shoulders. Soft silk hugged her curves, caressed her breasts, fell in waves over her hips; she tied the ribbon on the wrapper and with a quick look at the mirror she turned to leave.

She whirled on entering the kitchen, "You like?"

"I like it, it's scrumptious." Jay offered her a cup, "It makes you even more beautiful."

"It had better. It's supposed to make you want to stay...don't you?"

He did.

Later, they lay in bed, disheveled covers pulled to their waists. Her head resting on his chest, she whispered, "Jay, you don't have to be here on the second if you don't want to but if you're really interested in a future with me, I want you to know everything about my past."

"Every future has a past, we'll deal with the past together; we'll face tomorrow and the future together." His fingers cupped her chin, raising her head. "I love you, Cassie."

"I love you too, Jay."


	10. Past secrets, Future Promises

January first, New Year's day. Jay woke with a twinge in his back. He stretched stiff muscles, ignoring the pain. He looked at the blonde sleeping beside him. She had been extremely active during their love making the previous night, like she was demon possessed. And perhaps she was with the run in with her son, Brad. Whatever secret she was hiding would be brought to light tomorrow she had promised; he'd reached the newspaper accounts and wondered what private devil had eaten at her during the years. The story of the accident had been front page news but within a week it had been dropped. Old news didn't sell newspapers.

She had cried out his name as her coil released. He had joined her a few seconds later. He reached over to remove a stray of hair from her face. A fiend with a large sledgehammer hit his lower back. Easing out of the bed without bothering the sleeping Cassie, he found his pants and after a quick trip to the bathroom he made his way to the kitchen. A cup of leftover coffee in the microwave and a couple aspirin he'd found in the bathroom would go a long way to placate the monster and his hammer.

He shivered and the heater kicked on, blowing warm air into the living room; he stood looking out the window, the snow stopped, street lights turned the snow lying on the lawn to sparkling diamonds. His thoughts returned to the sleeping beauty and wondered why he hadn't found anyone like her before. He had always fallen back on his career, using it as an excuse. Cassandra had changed that; his career wasn't as fulfilling as it had once before. Maybe he had his own demons to expunge.

Her perfume reached him first, sweet, soft, rich and totally feminine. Fresh from the shower, dressed in jeans and a soft sweatshirt, she wrapped her arms around his waist, her cheek pressed against his bare back. "Happy New Year, Jay."

He put the coffee aside, turning to embrace her, kissing her lips. "Good morning, Cassie. Happy New Year."

"I guess I was selfish last night, we have all day together, what would you like to do?" No mention of the next day or the proposed luncheon date.

"I need to go home, pack for the tour." 'Not to mention my meds and a nice pain pill is there too.'

"Then it's breakfast and packing. I kinda like you topless." She smiled while she spread tantalizing kisses over his chest.

"I could say the same about you." He tugged the hem of her sweatshirt up.

"After breakfast," her eyes twinkled, pulling her sweatshirt down, "I'm famished."

After a breakfast of scrambled eggs, bacon, toast and coffee they made their way to Jay's home.

"It's humble but I call it home, when I'm here, that is."

Cassie had been here before, picking Jay up for Mass. The house hadn't changed all that much.

What had changed was Jay. "What's wrong, Jay?"

"Nothing is wrong, Cassie."

"We haven't known each other long but I know you well enough to know something is wrong. I've been lied to before, I didn't like it then and I don't like it now. And I don't think we should start a relationship with a lie between us. Now tell me, what's wrong?"

"Okay, just before Christmas I took a spill on the ice at the grocery store, messed up my back but it doesn't bother me too much, I just can't lay still in bed for example, for any extended time. That's why I wasn't in bed this morning. I had to get up and move around."

"It doesn't hurt about love making according to last night." Part question, part observation, she took his hand, holding it reassuringly.

It was late afternoon before they took a break from packing for Jay's departure.

"Jay, who looks after the house while you're gone?" Cassie flopped on the couch, being joined by Jay.

"Karen has a key, she drives by in her cruiser when possible." She snuggled closer, her hand caressing his cheek.

"I have something I want to talk about, Jay."

Line Break

Part 2

They had stopped by 'Granny's' to pick up fried chicken, mashed potatoes, gravy and biscuits for the luncheon meeting. Cassandra glanced around the kitchen table; everyone was here. Annie and Jack sat side by side, Brad next to his sister and Jay next to her. Food ignored or forgotten, their eyes darted from their plates to her, darting away in fear of meeting her eye to eye; all Jay who smiled when he caught her looking at him. They were all waiting. Waiting for the promised secret, waiting for her to bare her soul.

"Well, since nobody seems to be hungry," she drew in a breath, letting it out a sigh, "I guess it's time I told you why I all wanted you here. That will come later, first I want to let you know I've thought of selling this house for some time. I will be doing that as soon as possible.

"Second," she took Jay's hand, looking lovingly at him, "Jay and I have talked at length and have decided to build a life together. Sorry to talk about you, Jay, like you aren't here, Jay will be leaving on tour tomorrow. While he's gone, I plan on moving into his home.

"Third, Annie, Brad, I have pictures of your father in a box stored in the bedroom. After lunch you can go through them and pick out whatever pictures you want to keep.

"Lastly, the main reason I wanted to talk to you." She felt the reassuring squeeze on her hand, she squeezed back, acknowledging the moral support and that she didn't have to face this alone.

"You all know that David, his mistress and their baby died in the accident five years ago. Only four people know what I'm about tell you. The medical examiner, the district attorney at the time, the investigating officer and me. I convinced the other three that the truth wouldn't serve any good purpose, so it was never released to the newspapers. I also decided to keep the truth from you, Annie, Brad, to protect you.

"Jay, you asked at Mass if I'd forgiven them...this is the first step to that goal. Annie, Brad, you were told that your father and his mistress died immediately. That was when the media was told but it's not true. What happened in that car we'll never know but the evidence points to the fact pinned in the car, couldn't move, it made what happened before the police arrived early.

"Your father murdered her before he died."


	11. Healing Hands

"How are you feeling?" Jay stood behind her, arms wrapped around her waist, warm breath on her cheek.

"Sad because of the pain I caused...but free for the first time in a long time." She leaned back in his arms, covering his hands with her own. A thoughtful silence had descended over the table at her thunderbolt of an announcement. Everyone, except Jay, had began talking at once; trying to absorb everything she had said. It wouldn't come easy; finding your father was a killer would take time to digest and deal with.

"When do you leave tomorrow?" She turned in his arms, sinking deeper into the embrace.

"Bus leaves at two o'clock. I should be there in an hour before." His lips captured hers in a tender embrace, speaking volumes of the love they had felt.

"Good." She broke the kiss, "We can sleep in."

"Two a.m., sweetheart. No sleeping in."

"Then we have twelve hours." She took his hand, leading him down the hallway.

With his imagination running unchecked at the thought of making love to this beautiful woman walking seductively in front of him, he followed eagerly. In the past they had used the spare bedroom for their trysts. She led him instead to the master bedroom, pulling the covers back, stepping closer she began unbuttoning his shirt.

"Jay, we only have twelve hours. It'll go quicker if you help."

He helped by unbuttoning the first buttons of her blouse, exposing the sheer lace bra encasing her alabaster breasts. Unlocking the bra, it was obvious she had never sunbathed nude, no sun ray had ever touched the delicate skin. Unrestrained, her breasts filled the palms of his hands. He bent forward, letting his lips caress the upturned points. They took turns, kissing exposed skin as each item of clothing was unbuttoned, unzipped, discarded. When the last item of clothing was cast off, she stepped back, "Lie on the bed, face down."

This was the last he had imagined but he did as instructed, feeling the bed, kneeling at his side. She leaned forward, her voice low and sensual, "Jay, tell me if I hurt your back."

He felt her hands on his lower back tentatively, "Have you done this before?"

"No. You're my first patient."

"I'm an iron man, I think you can use more pressure."

"We'll see just how much of an iron man you are later. That's why the oil, I don't want you to rust up while you're gone."

Their love making was slow, leisurely, as if they were trying to imprint every nook and crevice for future references. They collapsed together, falling asleep in the afterglow until the alarm went off at midnight.

Line Break

Part 2

The departure was filled with seasoned with salty kisses as Cassandra held on to him as long as possible, releasing him only at the last moment before he boarded the bus. Unashamed, she wiped the tears from her cheeks.

"I love you, Jay McCarey. Hurry back to me."

"I love you too, Cassie." And he was gone. She stood, watching the bus pull away, disappearing into the morning darkness.

Cassandra knew she would miss him and she did, especially late at night when all the day's activities were done and sleep eluded her. Like tonight, three weeks since Jay since left. They had agreed that he'd call every night to say good - night. She had promised she wouldn't be a mother to nag but tonight his nightly call was late. She glanced at the bedside digital clock. It wasn't time to hit the panic button yet but he should have called by now.

She had kept busy since Jay had left. First, she had put her house, she couldn't think of it as a home anymore, on the market. She wanted Jay to call, tell him about the offer she'd received today. Moving into Jay's home had required an easy spring cleaning with Annie helping in this yearly ritual. It had also involved deciding which items she wanted to move and which to give to the upcoming church yard sale. Even Brad had relented; he and Jack taking a weekend to trim the trees in the backyard.

Why hadn't Jay called? Sometimes they talked for hours, other times not so long but always ending the call with "I love and miss you."

She glanced at the clock again, five whole minutes passed since the last time she'd looked. Where was that panic button? The big red one that once pushed would send her into hysterics. She stared at the ringing phone, unbelieving that it was actually ringing. On the third ring she picked up the receiver, "It's about time, Jay."

"Mrs. Fox? Mrs. Cassandra Fox?" She didn't recognize the voice and reached for the panic button.

"Yes, who are you?"

"Patrol Officer James, Dallas Police Department. We found this number in Mr. McCarey's wallet..."

"What happened, Officer?" Her handed hovered over the large button. "There has been an accident. The bus hit a patch of black ice..."

"NOOOOOOooooo!" Her hand slammed down.


	12. A Certain Smile

It took five minutes for Cassandra to calm her jangled nerves. The phone beeped into the broken line message; Cassandra hung up, then called information for the Dallas Police Department. An apology she had the information that the injured had been transported to Dallas Medical Care and yes, a message had been left for his sister, Karen. She caught Carla and left a message for Karen that she'd be leaving for Dallas as soon as she could get ready and would be calling again when she had more information. Two phone calls later, one for round - trip tickets to Dallas on the red - eye flight and the second to a twenty - four taxi service, she threw an overnight bag together. A last phone call to Annie so her daughter wouldn't worry and she was ready when the taxi drove up.

Dressed smartly in a powder blue skirt, silk blouse and jacket, she blended in the airport with other travelers, most headed to Dallas on business. After checking her bag, she sat thumbing through a newly purchased magazine awaiting the boarding call. The magazine remained unread as her mind thought of Jay. The Dallas Police Department had no information of who had been injured or what extent. The only news was that no fatalities had been reported. The fact left a lot of traumas for her imagination to play with. She had an active imagination. The boarding call came and Cassandra claimed her seat.

"Mr. McCarey, room 412, check in the nurse's station." The Candy Striper receptionist manning the information booth was young and pretty. She flashed a tired Cassandra a friendly smile.

"Thanks." She made her way toward the bank of elevators. A taxi had taken her to a motel close to the hospital on her arrival. After checking in and freshening up, another taxi had deposited her at the front entrance of the Dallas Medical Center. It seemed she had waited all night: waiting for Jay's phone call that never came, waiting for the taxi to take her to the airport, waiting for the boarding call, waiting for the taxi to take her to the motel and now waiting for an elevator. She felt sick at heart of waiting.

'Ping,' the lift announced its arrival on the fourth floor. She stepped out and orienting herself and observing the disciplined chaos. Nurses dressed in white uniforms went about their duties, doctors in white smocks and carrying clipboards went about their rounds. The room was set up with patient rooms surrounding nurse's station in the middle of the room. With a confidence she didn't feel, Cassandra approached the nurse's station.

"May I help you?" The nurse acknowledged her presence without looking up, continuing to make notes in a fat chart.

"I'd like to see Mr. Jay McCarey, please." It was disconcerting to be talking at the top of the nurse's head. She was in need of having her roots colored but Cassandra decided this was not the time (or place) to point that overlooked face. Besides, it had been a while since she herself had been to the hairdresser.

"Immediate family?"

"No, just a friend." Maybe she would drop a hint of this rude behavior.

"Doctor's orders, immediate family only. Doctor doesn't want all those enthusiastic fans showing up and disturbing the patient."

"But I'm not a fan, well, yes, I am a big fan, I just want to see how he's doing." Cassandra ignored the urge to throttle a certain nurse. And a certain doctor. "May I talk to Mr. McCarey's doctor?"

"Doctor is doing rounds. He may talk to you after he finishes rounds. Your name, please? You can wait in there." The tip of a pen pointed the way to a crowded room.

"Cassandra Fox."

Cassandra added this reason for waiting to other reasons to wait. She would like to just walk into Jay's room and kiss him soundly. A kiss of eternal love, sightly tinged with reality. A pitch of mischievousness she injected with a sly smile. Of course that action would only get her banned from the hospital. But wouldn't a taste of eternity be worth being banned? Or damned without said kiss?

"Mrs. Cassandra Fox?" Time had flown and Cassandra jerked at her name being called. The man before her was slightly older than her son, Brad. "I'm Dr. Carter."

"Is Jay...excuse me...Mr. McCarey...is he alright?"

"The broken arm is no problem, Mrs. Fox. It's the back injury that I'm concerned about."

"He did mention he took a spill on ice before Christmas but he didn't go into details."

"Nurse said you were a friend of Mr. McCarey. If I may ask, how close of a friend? Could you keep a close eye on Mr. McCarey when he goes home?"

"I'm in hopes there will be a ring in the near future, Doctor. That be close enough? You said a back problem, how will that effect the tour?"

"I'll require staying on his physical therapy regimen, exercise and bed rest. Until we can take care of the back problem, he's off the tour. Think you can help with that, Mrs. Fox?"

"My kids thought I was a slave driver, you can count on it, Dr. Carter."

"Come with me." They traversed the room back to the nurse's station. Same nurse in the need of a root procedure paid attention when Doctor Carter stopped in front of the desk.

"Nurse, this is Mrs. Fox. She has my permission to visit Mr. McCarey anytime and for as long as she wants. I'll make it a standing order if needed."

"There is one more thing, Mrs. Fox," the doctor turned his attention to Cassandra, "invite me to the wedding?"

"Cassandra please, Doctor. I'll see you get an engraved invitation."

All the waiting was over and Cassandra opened the door to Jay's room. She had been warned about the broken arm and expected to see the cast, she wasn't ready for how pale he looked. He appeared to be asleep, lying on his back, the uninjured arm resting on a small pillow. She stepped forward, dropping her purse on the floor. She leaned over the bed, brushing his lips lightly. Pulling the one chair in the room closer, she sat holding his hand. Tears sprang freely from her eyes as she heard him moan, trying to reposition himself in a more comfortable place. He seemed to be somewhat successful in this as he became quiet, his facial muscles relaxing in a slumber.

"I'm here, Jay, I've missed you. I love you and have so much to tell you. What am I going to do with you?"

"Marry me?" His eyes flickered open, coming to rest on her.

"Faker! Is that your idea of a proposal?"

"I seem unable to get down on one knee and if I did I doubt I could get back up. So will you marry me?"

"Of course I will. I was afraid I'd have to ask you." She showered his face with kisses, finally landing on his lips. Eternity didn't taste half bad.

Later, after the nurse had interrupted them with Jay's medication, he had drifted off to sleep. Cassandra waited until she was sure he wasn't faking before she left. Stepping off the elevator, she was surprised at who was entering the front doors.

"Karen! Have you had lunch?"

"Not unless you count a bag of peanuts on the plane. How is Jay?" She didn't seem astonished to see Cassandra at the hospital.

"Jay is fine. He'll be asleep for several more hours. Come on, we'll have lunch and have a nice sister to sister talk. We have a wedding to plan."

"What do you mean 'sister to sister talk'? What wedding?"

Line Break

Part 2

"You're a beautiful bride, Mom." Annie adjusted her mother's veil. Five months had passed since Jay's impromptu proposal. It was June and Cassandra tried to stand still as minor adjustments were made to her gown.

"I'll just be glad when this day is over. It's been a very busy five months." It had been a very busy five months from Cassandra selling her house and moving in with Jay. Jay had improved and gotten down on one knee to propose, placing a ring on her finger. Wedding plans had included everything from invitations, (engraved for a certain doctor in Dallas), to selecting a cream - colored gown.

"Five minutes, girls." The voice from outside announced.

"Jay had better be having a bad time as me. Annie, is Brad ready?"

"He's ready, Mom. He'll push Grampa down the aisle with you, then take his place with the rest of the wedding party. You better get in place, it's almost time." Annie gave her mom a last hug before taking her own place as Maid of Honor.

Cassandra stood before her father's wheelchair, ready to walk down the aisle. Jay looked so handsome in his black tuxedo; it made her heart skip several beats. Only moments to wait now. The church was packed by a combination of their friends and family.

"I wish your mother could be here today." Her father's words brought her thoughts back to the present.

"So do I, Father." Any other conversation was suspended when the wedding march music began. There was a rustle of clothing filled the sanctuary as everyone rose, turning toward the bride. Brad pushed the wheelchair, glancing often at his mother. That certain smile that curled her mouth into a contended smile said it all.

"Who gives this woman to this man?" The priest intoned when they were in place.

"I do, Father." Her father nodded his head and Cassandra stepped forward, taking Jay's hand. As practiced they moved to stand before the priest as man and woman. Some forty - five minutes later they stood in the same place as man and woman. Cassandra Fox walked up the aisle but it was Cassandra McCarey who lifted her veil and received her first kiss.

The demons of the past had been put to rest. Now, as they made their way to the church, the future beaconed with the bright lights of love, hope and faith.

Later, the duties of the reception and first danced fulfilled the new couple stood before their home. Cassandra broke the easy silence, "Jay, I don't want you carrying me across the threshold. I have plans for your back tonight and none include taking you to the E. R."

There is a fire that burns deep in a person's core. The fire is never fully extinguished; it lay dormant, nothing more than ash covered coals, waiting for new fuel. This fuel may be a certain look, a certain smile, a hand slipped inside a house, or like tonight, the unzipping of a wedding dress. At that point, the fire burns hot, flames building higher with each touch, caress or kiss. Cassandra felt the fire, its warmth consuming her from the inside out.

She cried out, arching her back as sparks exploded in a beautiful fireworks display.


End file.
